My wife and I are currently doing the "love and logic" parenting class. The basic tenant is that you empathize with your children but you allow them to make as many choices as are safe and make the consequences as natural as possible. The idea of course being that they are experienced at making good decisions when its more important. I think the fatherhood analogy is very applicable in times of pain but just in general in our lives. God empathizes with our pain, and He desires the relationship with Him as we deal with it but knows that our development hinges on working through it. Although, unlike parenting where you don't want your children to be dependent on you, God wants us to be dependent on Him... I think. So... the more we make wise choices the less we end up on our knees. That's sort of a weird irony.